So I visited my childhood friend whom I haven’t had the opportunity to see ever since she got married due to work and my numerous trip out of the country. I called up my girlfriend and her number was not connecting for a while, minutes later I called again but this time it kept on ringing but there was no response. I was worried and wondering why wouldn’t she pick my call or doesn’t she have my number anymore? I asked myself.I decided to call her later back in the day probably by then she might respond to my call or even call me back when she sees my calls that she has missed.. later at around 3:47pm, my phone rang and a lady’s voice said, this person was in an okada (Motorcycle) accident and my number was the last number found in her missed calls. she gave me the address of the hospital and without thinking I dashed out of my house in shock and fear of her situation. I wondered how come an Okada accident? why didn’t she use her car or no more cab (Taxi)?…
Getting to the hospital, I saw my friend all bandaged up, with blood stains, her legs were both in POP as well, It was not a pleasant sight to behold. immediately tears rolled down my eyes and I didn’t know what to say or do, the nurse came in and asked if I’ve called her husband then I realized that I haven’t even informed him yet.. immediately I dialed his number and it was not reachable.. to cut the story short, my friend regained consciousness few days later without the husband even calling her number, visiting her at the hospital or picking calls from both her phone and mine.. (I wondered what the problem would be that a man will be so angry or be doing that he has not even searched for his pregnant wife for the past one week and 4 days), and told me what happened, I was shocked to have found out that despite the fact that she was pregnant, her husband still maltreated her, ceased her car, and sacked her driver, she was forced into using public transport. Someone that has never used the commercial bus or bikes( She is a complete ajebota to the blood) she was born in Nigeria, we both schooled in the United Kingdom, and she met her husband when she came for her Youth service back home.. all her life has been ajebo life style.. has never been exposed to harsh treatment.
I felt pity for my dear friend, she was in total misery, the person she married wasn’t the person she was living with right now, gosh! I felt really bad for her and I felt like storming off to confront him but something said to me that things like this are bound to happen in marriages but how we handle it is what makes us victorious and I advised her to just pray about it and wait on God or seek a spiritual counsel because sometimes ignorance can actually be the cause of some problems in marriages (To be Continued)…
What you don’t know, you can’t do. and this brings me to sharing the counsel she got from a counselor who has really helped so many marriages from breaking up through the guidance of the Holy spirit….
1. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS
Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength.
2. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY
No one is an angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. Try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!
3. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES
Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
4. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS
Don’t compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.
5. TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR
When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Rumors, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, winning, nagging, PRIDE, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
6. THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE
There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a MOTOR CAR with a gear oil, gear box, etc If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and expose the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriage… Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.
7. GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE
God gives you, her or him in form of raw materials in order for you to mold what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve.
8. TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK
You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get married to her because she’s slim but she becomes a little fat after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at long last.
9. MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT
Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce, though it’s permitted only in extreme cases.
10. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY
Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdrawn. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.
If we can have knowledge of all these and even more, we would be smiling our way to a better married life, and even making your marriage worthy of emulation for both new and old marriages that has failed or are about to fail. All it takes is to pray, apply wisdom and never expect too much because if you do, you might get disappointed along the way and thereby bringing more problems to your marriage.
Written by Fydola