Perhaps, one of the greatest challenges I faced in my failed relationships was the fear of the unknown. This fear was so gripping that it translated into a vicious and cancerous insecurity that ate me up. I became assumptuous, unnecessarily jealous and suspicious; my mind became the devil’s playground. Few months into the relationships, I would imagine the worst possible ending and how to salvage it. I even made mental notes of the people I would have to explain to when the relationships fail. I was hoping for the best yet expecting the worst. And eventually, they all failed simply because of one factor- FEAR.
For you, it might not, and it just might, be relationship issues. It could be your business, academics, family, or even ministry. You are so caged by fear and negativity that you cannot see positivity and possibilities. The fear has so much consumed you that you are scared to take that huge step. Hey, quit the fear! Stop thinking negatively! See, whatever you fear so much will eventually happen so why bring trouble upon yourself? Fear is so powerful that Job says, “what I fear most has come upon me.” (Job 3:25) Have you noticed that that negative thought you have often comes to reality? Yeah, it will happen like that because as a man thinks, so he is.Proverbs urges us to guard our hearts diligently for that is where the issues of life flow from. (Pro. 4:23) Look, when you give room to fear and negative thinking, you literally curse yourself and put yourself in a position to accept “just anything.” You automatically have a defeatist mentality and it becomes difficult for you to see possibilities.
Sometime last year when my brother, High-King, and I went on our very first job hunt, we submitted our applications at a reputable media house in Benin. But the moment we stepped into the firm, we told ourselves they wouldn’t get back to us. Why? Oh, we really didn’t just see the possibility. And guess what? The call never came!
Some of us already fail in our minds before we carry out any action. We write off the situation before it comes our way and then our entire body acts in consonance with our thoughts. That is why you will stand before the crowd and begin to stammer because before you climbed the stage, you already told yourself, “I can’t do this. What if I mess up?” Don’t prepare to fail before you even start!
You need to wake up from that dangerous lifestyle! Stop living in the fear of the unknown! Stop thinking and speaking negatively! If you keep thinking your partner will leave, he/she will. If you keep thinking your boss will fire you, then get ready! He’s coming at you soon. Whatever you think, happens.
My father and mentor, Arihilam Francis, once said, “ catch yourself thinking.” Don’t allow your mind control you. Control your mind! Think positively! Renew your mind (Romans. 12:2). Why don’t you spend that time thinking of how beautiful your life will turn out instead of thinking of possible ways to salvage the failure of something you haven’t even started?
It just might be difficult for you to do on your own. That’s why you need good, positive-minded fellows around you. But most importantly, you need the One who gives true peace of mind; you need Jesus.
You see, my friend, keep those negative thoughts at bay. Feed your mind the right stuff. Remember, “God has not given us the spirit of fear…….” (2. Tim. 1:17)
So, my friend get up today and say, “Hello, fear. I’m done with you.”
Writer: Emmanuel Ujiadughele